Keeping Faith by Cindy Bradford (serial 16)
Chapter 5
Cindy Bradford
Needing Alice more than ever now, Sue asked her for help. “I’m so afraid, Alice, scared of having this baby, of raising a child in Townsend without a father.”
“Sue, you know I will be by your side throughout all of this. To hell with what anybody in town thinks. They haven’t walked in your shoes! Besides”, she continued as she shrugged, “what else do I have but my half-assed job at the nursing home?”
Alice, who was normally fun-loving and carefree had been having a difficult time lately, especially since the divorce was almost final; she had once wrapped her life around Dwayne and that had fallen apart. For a few minutes she was quiet, allowing herself to think back.
From the moment they had started dating in high school, Alice could concentrate on nothing but Dwayne, son of the local funeral home director/owner. Dwayne was wild and one of the few guys in high school who had a new Corvette and the money to go with it. While other businesses were drying up and closing down, Dwayne’s father’s was obviously doing well. Around town, it was always a joke among the high school kids that Dwayne’s dad was always glad when someone died and happy when a baby was born because that gave his business hope for the future. Dwayne’s mom ran the town’s only flower shop next door to the funeral parlor. No one thought this to be a conflict of interest since she was the first to give a homecoming or prom corsage to any boy who couldn’t come up with the $6.00 to buy one for his girl, or to send a pretty bouquet to the nursing home or provide the arrangement for the pulpit at the First Methodist Church.
Alice knew her parents had been disappointed when she announced she was quitting college and marrying Dwayne. They had so hoped she would become a nurse and work at the hospital over in Glenview or maybe meet some young doctor, join the country club, volunteer at one of the schools or head up a community project. But Alice was adamant, as she had always been about anything she wanted, and refused to listen to their pleas. Dwayne was going to take over the family business in a few years and be as rich as any local physician.
Alice remembered their wedding night, an unseasonably warm November night, as if it were yesterday. Three months after her eighteenth birthday, she had married Dwayne Strickland in the First Baptist Church of Townsend which was packed with people and the flowers that Dwayne’s mom had provided. Carrying a bouquet of orchids, Alice, in her lustrous white dress had felt like a bride out of a magazine standing next to the handsome rogue. Even with his reputation around town and despite the fact he wore his hair too long by most standards, most adults gave him the benefit of the doubt, believing he would settle down, make a good husband, become an asset to the family business and console the town’s mourners.
At the reception, both James and Sarah cried, wishing Alice would have changed her mind. Dwayne’s parents beamed with pride at the young couple. His parents had wanted the wedding to be at the Methodist Church where they belonged, with champagne and dancing at the reception. But this was one time when Alice didn’t get her way with her parents.
“This wedding is going to be at our church and of course there will be no drinking or dancing, heaven forbid!” her father had stated firmly. Alice’s parents had finally consented to allowing both a groom’s cake and a bride’s cake although they thought it was silly and said so. “No one in recent memory has had a German chocolate cake on one table and a white cake on the other side of Fellowship Hall.” her mother said, relenting, but thinking this seemed pretentious. They were not people who liked to look showy. Reminiscing now, Alice could see them, smiling through tears, as she and her new husband drove away with cans clanking behind Dwayne’s gold corvette. They didn’t smile, however, she was told when they read “Just Married, Hot Springs Tonight” written in shoe polish on the rear window. They were modest people in every way.
Soon after the wedding, Alice was ecstatic when she learned she was pregnant. Not sharing her enthusiasm, Dwayne didn’t mourn when she miscarried.
“Alice,” Sue said, bringing her back to reality, “I am so sorry about you and Dwayne. I don’t think I have been as sensitive or attentive to your problems this past year as I should have been. I’ve been too concerned about my own and that isn’t right. You’ve always been here for me.”
“Oh, Sue, don’t even think about it. I’ve had enough pity parties all by myself.”
“Men can sometimes be real jerks, can’t they?”
“I’d say more like true assholes!” Alice exclaimed.
Sue laughed for the first time in a very long time. “You have a way with words, Alice, but I must admit we probably think alike; I just don’t have your graphic vocabulary.”
Alice asked, “Did I ever tell you about what Dwayne did to me on his birthday, the first year we were married?”
“No,” Sue said, feeling better about her worries as she settled on the couch in Alice’s den, reminiscing.
“I was so excited because I wanted to make his birthday special. I even drove over to Spring Hill and bought him a bottle of Crown Royal. I hadn’t been in a liquor store since I bought Boone’s Farm at RED’S when I was a sophomore in high school. I know that guy at the cash register knew I was using a fake I.D., but he just winked and said ‘sure hope you feel as good tomorrow as you look tonight’ and put it in a sack. I didn’t.”
Sue asked, “Do you remember when Mother always sent Daddy to the package store in Spring Hill right before Christmas every year so she could make rum balls? He wouldn’t go to RED’S because someone might see him!”
Both girls laughed.
“Yes, God, those things were nasty. What a waste of good rum. Mother never did know when I stole that bottle from where she hid the leftover rum in the flour bin. A bunch of us girls drank it, and then I filled the bottle to the same level with a sugar concoction.”
“Alice, you’re terrible.”
Ignoring Sue’s comment, Alice remarked, “Oh, on to the birthday, well since I was a married woman I guess I had started thinking like Mom, not wanting to be seen in a liquor store in Townsend. Anyway, I then went to Sears and bought him a power saw he had been wanting. I should have used it on him, knowing what I know now! I spent hours cooking his damn favorite meal of chicken fried steak, fried potatoes and strawberry shortcake, and what did he do? He came in stumbling drunk at 10:00 p.m., smelling of alcohol and cheap perfume and promptly passed out.”
“Alice, you knew Dwayne cheated on you when you two were dating, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I knew about that Tina girl. You know who I am talking about, don’t you?”
“You mean the one who did it some nights with lots of boys?”
“Yeah, only one night when I was at the Dairy Queen with some of my girlfriends, I heard the boys setting up what they called a gangbang with her. I guess they figured we couldn’t hear since they were playing Elvis on the radio so damn loud.”
Alice continued, “I guess Dwayne’s a boob guy. Seems Tina and his latest catch, if you can call her that, both have huge ones.”
She stopped and laughed. “The first time we were together and he saw a girl with big boobs, he turned, looking, and said, ‘Emerson’s.’ That’s the code word the guys used to mean ‘em are some big ones’ when they don’t want anybody to know what they are saying. I have to admit he could be pretty funny sometimes, but right now I don’t see anything very positive about him.”
“Yes, I know what you mean, Alice, I wish I could hate Patrick, but I can’t.”
“Being pregnant with his child doesn’t help any, I’m sure. I think it would be harder for me if we had had a baby together. I think the miscarriage is when I started feeling the way I do about Dwayne.”
“Why then?”
“Sue, I didn’t just lose the baby for some unknown reason. I was in the beauty shop and overheard Mrs. Floyd; you know the town gossip, telling Glenda and Ann that Dwayne was having an affair. She didn’t know I was in the back, putting on a smock. Anyway I was so upset I ran out of the shop and right into a parking meter. I hit it hard. It was the very next day when I miscarried.”
“Why didn’t you tell me, Alice?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I felt stupid and ashamed of the way I acted. I didn’t tell anybody, but apparently somebody at the beauty shop told Dwayne’s mother. She called him and chewed him up and down.”
“So, why did you stay with him after that?”
“He cried and begged me, said the affair was just a stupid fling. He told me he would end it and be a good husband. I was dumb enough to fall for it until I found out he was still seeing her. Maybe he really loves her. When his daddy gave him the ultimatum to leave her or the family business, he stayed with her. Tells you something, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, it tells me he’s the dumb one.”
“Yeah, that’s what I think about Mr. Priest-to-be. Are you going to let him know once the baby is born?”
“No,” Sue responded, sadly. “He made his choice. It’s too late now. I love him, but… well; I don’t think it would matter anyway. You should have seen his face when he said nothing would change his mind. It was weird. The whole priest deal was weird. Oh well, it doesn’t really matter. I’ll never figure it out, no matter how much I try to reason through it. Even in his last call he told me he loved me. I’m not sure he had it all completely figured out either.”
≈≈≈
During the next months, Sue and Alice spent many hours together talking about their futures, both pledging to move away someday, maybe to Houston or Dallas. Together they often shopped Rose Hill for maternity clothes or for baby things since Sue still didn’t feel comfortable in Townsend.
“Oh, my gosh, Sue. Look at these booties and socks. Aren’t they the tiniest things you’ve ever seen? I don’t know when I have had so much fun. Look at this dress!” she squealed. She held up a tiny yellow pinafore over a white eyelet dress, with a tiny hat that matched the satin sash of the pinafore. “I’m buying this and you can’t stop me.”
“As sure as you do, I’ll have a boy.”
“I’m telling you, it’s going to be a girl. I just know it!”
“And how do you just know it?” Sue quizzed her sister teasingly.
“Because I just know, now don’t ask me anymore questions.” Walking over to the hanging mobiles, she spotted one with butterflies, “This is perfect. We have to paint the nursery, Sue. We just can’t wait much longer or you won’t be able to bend over to pick up a brush!”
“I’m just not ready.”
“Well, you better get ready; because this baby is coming out in two months, no matter what. November will be here before we know it.” She reached and patted Sue’s protruding middle, “I don’t know why you are so obstinate. We should have already filled a trunk with blankets and a closet with clothes. No baby in this family is going to be seen wearing only a diaper and that’s all, not if I have any say.”
Stopping to draw a quick breath, she added, “We haven’t even bought diapers or bottles. That’s it! I’m stocking up whether you like it or not. Are you sure you are not going to let anyone give you a shower?”
“NO!” she said emphatically.
Sue sighed, “Okay. For you, I’ll go along.”
“Not for me, Sue, for the baby, whatever her name will be! That’s the other thing, you say you haven’t come up with a name you like, but I don’t think you’re trying. Why don’t you buy one of those little baby name books. I see them on the wire rack right by the check-out counter for ninety-nine cents, every time I’m in Piggly-Wiggly. How hard would it be to pick out one little measly girl’s name?” Alice pleaded.
The sales clerk had walked over and eyed the sisters three times but turned away seeing they were in an obvious discussion. “I’ll come back,” she whispered on the fourth time.
Tears came into Sue’s eyes as she reached to squeeze Alice’s hand. “I’m sorry, Sis. I haven’t been a very good mother-to-be. You wanted a baby so badly and couldn’t and here I am, having one when I shouldn’t. I’ll be better. I promise.”
Hugging her, Alice said softly, “I know it hasn’t been easy, but it will all be fine. This little one is going to be very loved and that’s what’s important. Come on, let’s each pick out a dress, a couple of bibs, a sleeper and at least one bunting? Have you seen a baby bed you like?”
Almost bashfully, Sue answered, “I looked at that one the last time we were here,” pointing to a white Jenny Lind crib. “It’s sweet, isn’t it?”
“That’s my girl! Now you sound more like yourself.”
≈≈≈
The next week they painted the nursery pale honeydew and arranged the creamy white crib against one wall and a chest of drawers to match on the opposite.
“Where do you think we should put the rocker?” Sue asked.
“By the window so you can show her the birds and squirrels while you rock her.”
As Sue’s due date approached, Alice thought she appeared even more nervous and moody, but shrugged it off, assuming she was afraid and sad that this very special event was not going to be shared by the man she said she “loved beyond words.”