Who says we don’t have a lot to learn in our old age? In these two winter months I have been in my condo in New Mexico. This Texas flatlander has learned loads about living in the cold, dry mountain air.

Since I am used to the humidity of South Padre Island, my skin has gone into shock!! It is so dry, I itch!! Not a little, casual itch, a major want to scratch off the skin ITCH. A “local” told me to get baby oil, and that was really good advice. It works extremely well, though I must admit I leave the soft fragrance of a fresh, newly diapered baby’s butt everywhere I go.

Maybe that young guy the other night at the casino wasn’t flirting after all; maybe I reminded him of his wife and newborn he had left at home!!

Another factor I have had to get used to, and haven’t quite conquered is the difference in altitude. Although I am much more acclimated now than when I arrived, I still huff and puff a little climbing the hill from the bottom of the condo complex to the top.

Several years ago I went over to play golf at Cloudcroft, about 30 miles away (elevation: 8,700) and I asked the lady in the pro shop if it was okay if we walked, knowing some golf courses require golfers to rent their carts. She looked at me and without smiling said, “If you think you can.”

I hesitated for a second, not understanding and went on my merry way. When I finished the first hole, I totally understood, and when I completed nine holes, I caught a ride with a friend who had opted for a cart and rode back to the clubhouse not sure I was going to live. There is no magic lotion for this problem, except I guess to get fit and in tiptop shape. Oh well, I’m leaving soon, so why start now??

And a couple of other things I now know: ice is really slick and deer in the road don’t really care if your car is bigger than them. Maybe someday I will spend the winter again in the mountains, but not until I get really hot, until my bare feet blister, and until fish walk in front of my car. Until then, I think I will see Santa deliver my toys in his boat, hang icicle lights on my palm trees, and eat fried shrimp on New Year’s. It’s been fun, but I’m ready to go “home.”