Students Say the Weirdest Things
Students Say the Weirdest Things
When I was talking to the interviewer right before my first radio program, she was stressing to me that it was important not to be nervous so she said, “just think about all those students you have stood up in front of over the years, and they weren’t even interested in what you were saying; the radio audience is.”
I thought that was pretty perceptive of her and so true. After the interview I was still laughing about her words of encouragement and mentioned them on Facebook, where I reminded old teacher friends of some of our funny experiences with students, and they added theirs on Facebook as well.
One of my favorites happened years ago while another English teacher and I were standing at our doors while students passed from class to class. We were always supposed to be at our doors on “duty” during these times, but it never felt like duty; it was a reprieve from the class when we could share stories or simply talk to another adult.
She was teaching “A Tale of Two Cities,” and had created a bulletin board (this was the tortuous part for us secondary folks—we were not into displays like our elementary counterparts), that corresponded with the book. She had quite a creative group of over achievers who appeared unusually quiet that day.
When the bell rang, she found them all at their desks with their books out pretending to be engrossed in reading. Since this was a bit odd to say the least she looked around the room to see what mischief they might have been involved in and there it was on her bulletin board. They had changed the letters to read, “A Sale of Two Titties.” You have to give them an A for creativity!!
How about these:
- One teacher reminded me of the less than stellar student who wrote a paper about the Four Runners of Romanticism.
- Apparently the Pulitzer Prize was difficult for more than one student because two teachers shared:
one wrote about the “Pullet’s Surprise” and
another who thought the award was for the “Poet’s Surprise”!
We, however, were never surprised!!
Those are memories that you just can’t buy—(on our salaries we wouldn’t have been able to). No, you just had to earn them.
Do you have any funny student stories? Please write them in the comments.
Paragraphs on Padre 
One day a third grade student told me his mother was the smartest person in the world. He said she could drive and hold a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.
My first year to teach typing was my first year at DeSoto High. We were learning the basic keys. After having this question asked about 100 times during class…”what finger hits the ‘e’ key?’ I shot my left hand in the air, held up the finger and said rather loudly, ‘THIS FINGER!’ The class exploded as I realized it was my middle finger sticking up in the air illustrating the ‘proper’ finger to hit the ‘e’ key!
Peggy, We just didn’t recognize true talent, I guess!! Too funny, actually it’s pretty sad, isn’t it? And Susan,I can think of several students who deserved that finger sticking up!Thanks to both for reading.
I’m sure I’ve got several but none come to mind at the moment. My sister taught fourth grade for many years. One year, she was collecting the many forms that go home for information and parent signatures when she noticed that the phone number one parent wrote down for emergency contact was 911!
I swiped this, but thought it was a great share item. After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said:
‘Let me see if I’ve got this right.
‘You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.
‘You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.
‘You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.
‘You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the final exams.
‘You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
‘You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.
‘You want me to do all this and then you tell me. . . I CAN’T PRAY?
AMEN!!!! Thanks for commenting!