Saxophone on Steroids
My friend, Jan, whose last name I will not divulge to protect the guilty, is building his own still—like in, moonshine still! Jan’s favorite alcoholic beverage is the Bloody Mary, and his son told him that the very best vodka is “potato vodka.” So Jan commenced to thinking, which apparently in this case may have been dangerous because he decided to make his own still and ultimately his own vodka.
To do that, he first designed and created his own still and since he is very good at building things and figuring out projects, on first blush that seemed harmless enough. But now every time he sends me a picture of the still it has grown, not inches, but feet. It now looks like a saxophone on steroids.
I am not sure how all this works, but I suggested he think seriously about NOT operating this in his kitchen. Then, I decided to read a little about moonshine making, and I am even more convinced that Jan might re-consider this venture, that is if he likes his hair and eyebrows!!!
It appears that the common test for moonshine is to pour a small amount of it into a metal spoon and light it!!! The theory is that safe booze burns with a blue flame and tainted booze burns with a yellowish glow.
I’m not sure if Jan has used a radiator coil as a condenser, but if that is the case, practitioners say “lead burns red and makes one dead.” And I was worried about him just revving up the still itself!
Then, the next assignment is to test the proof. At this point, he’ll have to pour a little gun powder in with the moonshine and if it flames or blows up, he knows it’s “proofed.”
Early into the project, he asked me if I wanted in on this magnificent idea, and I declined. So far, I haven’t had second thoughts, but maybe he’s on to something. I haven’t seen the recipe for the vodka, and I have never tasted potato vodka that I know of, but I guess you can’t go wrong with the lowly spud.
He’s been thinking about names, and I’m going to suggest, “Half Moon Vodka.” After all, if he doesn’t move quickly, that may be all he has left of his backside. Let’s wish him luck, lots of luck. We’ll toast later, Jan, after all the kinks are worked out of the radiator coil and your hair has grown back!
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OMG!! This sounds dangerous. He should do this in the backyard. So, do you think we should try lighting our vodka before we drink it to see what color it burns?
Just because the Russians were the first in space with Sputnik doesn’t mean they have cornered the market on vodka.Let’s give Jan some credit for entreprenuership. I think he should go for some stimulus money since he’s recycling automobile parts.Maybe he can come up with some way of getting in on the new green wave by making it with less energy.
How about calling it”Spudshine”
Hey, I kinda like it!
Please don’t encourage him!!! I’ll come home from work one day and the side of my house will be gone! You know, a little stimulus money for a small business owner would be kinda nice.
I just can’t help it. He wants to be a “character” so bad!!Obviously he is, but I’ve put him on alert that he is in the emerging and developing stage and, therefore, needs to be on his best behavior!!Ha!
You’ve gotta be kidding, he doesn’t have “best behavior”.
Another quality post. I put in a plug for your website at mine. So, I am sure most people forget the points you are making.
Thanks so much Daniel. That is very thoughtful of you. I need every bit of help I can get so I really, really appreciate your comment and mention. Please keep reading.